"Only perhaps in the stars can we see the likes of the beauty and natural structure of the brain and I wanted to become an astronaut of thought."
I dreamed of becoming an actress from the age of 5 watching Kids Incorporated on my grandparents tube television while laying on the shag carpet sprawled on my belly head and hands mesmerized by the magic of song and dance through the television.
This dream grew and changed to a film degree and 10 years in the television industry working on shows such as ER, Once and Again, and ultimately a long 7 year adventure on the show Supernatural mainly as their Associate Producer.
Health issues became a catalyst for a new adventure leading me to leave the industry with the grief of a lost love still echoing in my heart.
Simultaneously, reluctant and passionate, I became a mother and began a slow unfocused path in the mental health industry.
Motherhood molded me like no other tool had before. Questioning ever corner of my existence. Shining light on the dark corners and the hidden foundations of my choices, beliefs, and emotions.
Fighting what was meant to be is a great power I have honed, and as motherhood shook the bullshit coins from my pockets, I started to realize I pushed away from exactly what I wanted.
Leaning in I started to grow and flourish as a mental health therapist. Then one day my supervisor, a true mentor, handed me a gift. She didn't know it was a gift at the time, she was just doing good work.
This gift came in the form of a book by Dr. Dan Siegel and in it was a world I never knew I always wanted. This was a world where science could make sense of my heart. A world where I could find a home in not just the clinical walls of psychology, or the chaos of film and dancing. This was a place unlike any other on earth, only perhaps in the stars can we see the likes of the beauty and natural structure of the brain and I wanted to become an astronaut of thought.
Not knowing what this new found explosion of desire inside me was, I trudged along annoyed at the voice deep inside myself saying keep going. When I would lose a chance I thought I wanted that voice would say, "That wasn't it". And I accepted that to be true, without any proof.
The laborious work of digging an unknown path without even knowing where it led was both seductive and maddening. One day in a state of presence learned through preparing that same path an image came to my mind. An image of purpose.
I knew then my journey was to show people the journey. My purpose was to share the expanse that is as beautiful as the stars, yet unlike the stars, reachable for all.
Our brain is ours and it is ours to explore. It is ours to discover and I would bring this beauty in our brain down form the cosmos and make it accessible to all. Neuroscience for all.
I would take this science and make it an art for the ages.
This is my adventure, and it can be yours too.