I dreamed of becoming an actress from the age of 5. Sprawled on my belly on my grandparents living room rug, head in hands watching Kids Incorporated. I was mesmerized by the magic of song and dance through the television. Legend has it I turned to my parents and said, "I'm going to do that." Now what I meant, Singing, Dancing, being on TV, who knows, But the trajectory was set.
This dream grew and changed to a film degree and 10 years in the television industry working on shows such as ER, Once and Again, and ultimately a long 7 year adventure on the show Supernatural as Associate Producer.
Health issues became a catalyst for a new adventure leading me to leave the industry with the grief of a lost love still echoing in my heart.
Simultaneously, reluctant and passionate, I became a mother, and with my Masters in psychology began a slow unfocused path in the mental health industry.
Motherhood molded me like no other tool had before, questioning every corner of my existence. Shining light on the dark corners and the hidden foundations of my choices, beliefs, and emotions.
Fighting what is meant to be, is a great power that I have honed. As motherhood shook the artificial coins from my pockets, I started to realize that I often pushed away from exactly what I wanted.
Leaning in, I started to grow and flourish as a mental health therapist. Then one day my supervisor, a true mentor, handed me a gift. She didn't know it was a gift at the time, she was just doing good work.
This gift came in the form of the book, The Whole Brain Child by Dr. Dan Siegel. In it was a world I never knew I always wanted. This was a world where science could make sense of my heart. A world where I could find a home in not just the clinical walls of psychology, or the chaos of film and dancing. This was a place unlike any other on earth. Only perhaps in the stars can we see the likes of the beauty and natural structure of the brain.
And I wanted to become an astronaut of thought.
Not knowing what this new found explosion of desire inside me was, I trudged along annoyed at the voice deep inside myself saying keep going.
The laborious work of digging an unknown path without even knowing where it led was both seductive and maddening. One day through meditation an image came to my mind. An image of purpose.
I knew then my journey was to show people the journey. My purpose was to share the expanse that is as beautiful as the stars, yet unlike the stars, reachable for all.
Our brain is ours and it is ours to explore. It is ours to discover and I would bring this beauty in our brain down from the cosmos and make it accessible to all.
I would take this science and make it an art.
This is my adventure, and it can be yours too.