The Wave Will Pass: A Nervous System Trick That Actually Helps

Triggers don’t just live in our thoughts—they live in our bodies. When we feel overwhelmed, shut down, or

pulled to react, it’s often because our nervous system has paired a sensation with a story. Urge surfing helps us stay with the physical sensation without reinforcing the old wiring. By noticing and riding out the feeling instead of acting on it, we teach the body that it’s safe. Over time, this rewires the trigger-response loop—reducing the intensity and shortening the duration of future stress responses. You're not just managing the moment—you're changing the map.

Urge Surfing: A Step-by-Step Guide (Body-First Edition)

1. Notice the urge without acting on it.

   Pause. Name what’s happening: “There’s an urge to yell,” “There’s a craving,” or “There’s a pull to shut down.” You don’t need to fix it—just notice it’s there.

   
   

2. Find the physical sensation.

   Ask: Where do I feel this in my body? Is it a tightening in your throat? A heat in your chest? A buzzing in your arms? Drop into that location and bring your attention there like a spotlight.

   
   

3. Describe it like a scientist.

   Get curious. Is it sharp or dull? Still or moving? Expanding or contracting? This keeps your brain in observation mode rather than reaction mode.

   
   

4. Breathe into it.

   Send slow, steady breaths to that area. Not to make it go away—just to stay with it. Imagine you're floating on the wave of sensation, not getting pulled under.

   
   

5. Ride the wave.

   Sensations rise and fall like waves. Remind yourself: This is just a sensation. It will crest and pass. Most physical urges peak within 90 seconds if we don’t feed them with stories or reactions.

   
   

6. Repeat or release.

   If the sensation comes back in a few minutes, that’s okay. You can surf again. Over time, each wave gets easier to ride. If the moment has passed, notice that too—Hey, I stayed with that. I didn’t collapse or lash out. That’s a win.